God exists, it's proven.

In the last year or so, I have developed a bad good habit of not following the news. This happened for a variety of reasons: laziness, apathy, an abundance of news stories that shatter my already fragile faith in humanity (basically, not enough good news) etc etc. I've stopped bothering to read news papers, I switch over/off when the news comes on the TV, I've disabled the BBC widget on my smartphone. Basically, I only receive news through social channels i.e. the social media (predominantly Facebook and Twitter) and through hanging out with the people that I call my friends. This is how I heard all the recent major headlines: the Jimmy Savile scandal, the most recent North Korea nuclear scare, Thatcher's death and the Ding Dong campaign that followed, and the allegations of Rolf Harris and his naughty didgeridoo, to name a few.

Well, this morning I woke up and flicked through the metaphorical pages of Facebook to stumble upon the best news since Pulp's reunion: JLS HAVE FINALLY SPLIT UP. Praise the Lord, Hallelujah, Jah provides. Fuck me hard and tickle me pink. 5 long years I awaited this glorious moment and it finally came. No emoticon can describe the joy that I'm feeling, no cleverly-crafted meme can express the sense of glee that's flowing through me right now. I might even have a drink tonight to celebrate. 

Some may wonder and fail to understand my happiness and so may I. Maybe it's my bitterness at the fact that they're in the music business and I am not. Maybe it's because their music is a load of low quality autotuned crap. Maybe I'm angry that talented artists struggle to break the top 40 while JLS are always in the top 10, no matter what they release. Maybe it's because they're a bunch of sleazy douchebags and I can't stand the sight of them. Who knows? Sometimes it's best to just accept the happiness you feel without questioning it.  

Naturally, there will be a number of killjoys out there who will attempt to rain on my parade by reminding me that JLS were just a small dollop from the big rusty cauldron of hollow, commercial, brain dead pop. Yes, we've still got Justin Bieber, One Direction, Nicki Minaj, and many other minstrels of decadence. But that doesn't matter, life has taught me to be happy with what I get and today's news is like a very early Christmas present. 

However, the news isn't all good, of course, nothing's ever perfect. The stale, piss-flavoured icing on the delicious cake of JLS' demise is the sad fact that they've promised to release a new single and a "best of" compilation, backed by a farewell tour, which means that we haven't heard the last of them yet, unfortunately. But the diagnosis has been made and it's good news: it's terminal.

So yeah, fuck you, Nietzsche, God isn't dead after all. 

Sculpture Of Man.

Live long and prosper.