Some facts:

A panel in Belgium have lost all there pens, thus all research is off for the month. The shocking truth of the matter is that Bjorn Vanden Borre ate it, the fucker. The pen munching git of Gent, as he is now known, has stopped the vital research into the local rising use in battery acid as a method for getting shit faced. Up till now no one understands why the Flemish would believe this would work, but the brave souls of Battery Acid Gent Centre (BAGC) had being working night and day to get to the point where the could record some of their data. It is thought that Bjorn is a Walloon and was taking a radical pro-France stance in the pen stuffing, but this is unfound and probably untrue.

The band Ribno Funkfest will be putting out there new album "M25 Skid Marks and its Folk Art" in two weeks. I am truly excited, it will be other worldly.

Dolphins are planning to demand all humans are born in water. The Lords of the Sea have been giving its demands for the past three weeks since the capture of Mario Monti and his cabinet. They have also demanded they are given the rights to the moon, stolen from them by the Cow and Ant Lords of Upper Volta.